Children and Separation Anxiety: Advice.

Around the eighth month, the baby usually exhibits symptoms of separation anxiety, a feeling very close to the anguish that appears when the mother goes away.

Separation anxiety and children

Separation anxiety arises from the fear of being abandoned by the mother and generally appears around the eighth month of life. In some cases it may appear earlier, in others after.

How separation anxiety manifests itself

She always expresses herself with restlessness, difficulty falling asleep, frequent nocturnal awakenings, desperate cries when the mother goes away even if only to reach another room. Separation anxiety can have various levels of intensity depending on the child's temperament and the mother's ability to reassure him. In this last regard, it is important that the mother on the one hand is very affectionate with the child and devotes herself to him completely whenever possible and on the other hand she shows herself serene in the face of any manifestation of discomfort. That is, the child must not acknowledge that the mother is frightened by her reactions, nor that she feels somehow guilty of what is happening to him, nor that she is irritated or, worse, angry.

Separation anxiety from mom or even dad?

The fear of being abandoned is a feeling that usually concerns the mother, but in some cases it can also develop towards the father. The possibility is frequent especially in cases where the father has taken care of the child every day since the first months of life, also taking care of his hygiene. Just like mom should do, dad too must make the child feel as much love as possible, not only by spending time with him but also by caressing him, kissing him, hugging him. Physical contact is indeed an extraordinary tool of consolation.

What to do if the child has separation anxiety?

What to do then? In addition to handing the teddy bear to the child, for its function as a symbol of affection and maternal presence, when the mother moves away from him she can offer him a previously worn t-shirt, in which therefore there is his smell. The trick is particularly comforting and, therefore, reassuring for most children.