Behavior of the child from 12 to 18 months
During the 12-18 months period the child tends to acquire the concept of possession or wanting to do everything by himself such as bringing the spoon to his mouth
He always says "mine"
As soon as the baby begins to speak, "mine" is one of the most common expressions. After all, he is beginning to acquire a new concept, that of possession: he understands that the pacifier is his, as are the clothes and, in his view, also the mother. It is therefore a normal stage of development, which must not be interpreted as an act of selfishness, even if the child does not want one of his objects to be used, for example, by a peer little friends to get hold of a toy). Saying “mine” is a growth mechanism that helps him to consolidate his identity more and more.
What to do
Consider this stage as a phase of transition: through the daily example of mum and dad exchanging objects, even the little one will be able to more easily separate from his games. In the meantime, to avoid unleashing an attack of jealousy and possession that is difficult to manage, avoid using an object of the child, even if only temporarily, for another family member (for example his favorite soft toy to distract his little brother).
He wants to do it himself
At this age, the child begins to try to perform some actions on his own, such as bringing the spoon to his mouth or putting on his shoes. It is a normal stage in his development, which indicates that the baby is growing. The fact that he wants to do it alone signals the great curiosity that accompanies the little one in this phase: he can't wait to know and experiment, but sometimes this curiosity leads him to face situations that are "scary" for him, precisely because they are unknown. It is therefore normal for the child to be frightened by situations, sensations, loud or new noises.
Throws a tantrum
The child begins to acquire a certain autonomy and a growing curiosity: he wants to know what surrounds him, experimenting new situations by himself. Soon he will learn to step on his toes for wanting or not wanting to do something: for now, he reacts with anger if he is not satisfied immediately and learns that, by stammering and screaming, he gets what he wants. It is a stage in the normal growth process of a child, who wants to experience new sensations without the help of parents. However, the little one often ends up getting into situations bigger than him that can frustrate him (for example, he wants to try to get on a chair or on the steps of the stairs, but he cannot because the chair or the steps are too high for him). : not being able to tolerate any failures yet, he gets angry easily.
What to do
Encourage him and show him that you appreciate his efforts to do it alone: even if the little one will not always succeed in his attempts, do not rush him. To intervene to give him a hand only if he is the one to ask for it expressly and if he really does not succeed in his intent: taking his place every time he fails or just because you are in a hurry could have repercussions, in the long run, on his self-esteem. To mitigate the fear of the new without hindering the child's curiosity, make the situation more familiar, explaining to the child, in a reassuring tone, what is happening. For example, if he is afraid of the shower, have him try the water on one hand or foot first, and then convince him to get wet on the rest of his body as well. It is important to proceed by approaching the child very gradually to what he fears, without laughing at his fears.
Do not limit the child, for example by telling him not to touch something but, at the same time, watch over his experiences: this will prevent the child from putting himself in dangerous situations. Provide a good example of self-control and set the limit for the child when he has a tantrum. Better, therefore, to avoid being bullied by the little one by satisfying all his desires: you risk spoiling him beyond measure without helping to make him safer.
During tantrums, take his attention away from what he wants, for example by interested in another game. You can also learn to ignore his whims and when the child has calmed down, explain to him quietly why he should not do or expect certain things.
It does not detach from its plush
Wherever he goes he takes it with him: a soft toy, a doll, a pillow. Woe to trying to take it away, even just to wash it, or to forget it at home. The object in question, to which the little one is so attached, is defined by experts as a "transitional" object: it is a handhold, like a sort of "vice-mother" to which the little one relies in the search for its autonomy. This object helps him, in fact, to "get away" just enough from his parents, especially from his mother, to undertake his exploration of the world. In short, it is a sort of support for his still uncertain steps and, above all, it reminds him of his mother. The object can be inseparable especially at the time of sleep: in the phase in which the child is learning to remain without the close proximity of the mother, he likes the awareness of autonomy, but it also scares him a little. So, if leaving her mother for many hours at night can be difficult, with the help of her favorite stuffed animal she can better cope with the separation from her. Do not deprive the little one of his stuffed animal: this separation will only be necessary if he continues to carry this object with him even as an older child. Indeed, in that case, if excessive use is made of it, it will be necessary to try above all to find out the reason for that behavior.
He loves to empty everything
One of the first effects of the child's exploratory desire is to find drawers or boxes emptied of all their contents, which is scattered around the house. Parents often wonder what the child finds so amusing in this game: he probably sees himself capable of carrying out a sort of transformation on his own: before it was full and now it is empty (the drawer) and is full where it was empty before (the drawer). floor).
How to behave
Leave within reach of the little one only what he can empty, what is neither fragile nor dangerous, keeping him away from the most “at risk” areas, such as the cabinets that contain drugs or detergents. Avoid reproaching the little one or forbidding him this behavior: this is another of his ways to experiment. Better to teach him to put back what he has messed up: after all, filling is emptying in reverse and therefore can have the same success.
Always repeats the same games
The tendency to repeat the same games many times is typical of this age: it can become boring in the eyes of mom and dad, but nevertheless it is important to satisfy this need of the child, as it represents a fundamental phase of his development. The continuous repetition, in fact, gives the little boy confidence, represents a confirmation of what he is learning and gives him a sense of pleasure linked to reliving situations already well known to him. Indulge the child's tendency to repeat the same games, even if for the parents it can be boring. It is necessary to arm yourself with a lot of patience, observe and listen to the child in his repeated game: in this way it will be possible to grasp his initiatives (understand, for example, which action intrigues him the most or which he has learned) and start teaching him the name of the objects he continues to throw.
He wakes up at night
Awakenings at night, often accompanied by difficulty falling asleep, are normal between 12 and 36 months. Either way, the baby should be able to go back to sleep on his own by now. In 80 percent of cases, nocturnal awakenings result from a child's incorrect learning of how to fall asleep. In fact, the baby is used to sleeping in the most varied ways and it often happens that he gets used to sleeping at the breast, with a bottle or cradled in the arms of his mother. When he wakes up at night, the little one instinctively looks for the ideal conditions to be able to go back to sleep, that is, those to which he is used to. Therefore, if he does not find the breast, the bottle or is not cradled by his mother, he can no longer fall asleep and cries. The awakenings usually take place late at night, already after 2-3 hours of sleep, and do not last long because as soon as the child regains the initial conditions of sleep (for example, the mother who cradles him or offers him the breast) falls asleep quickly . More rarely, nocturnal awakenings are caused by the presence of a disturbance. In this case, the child wakes up very early in the night, even just half an hour after falling asleep. He cries intensely and tends to stay awake for a long time before falling asleep again. As a result, he doesn't sleep much and this ends up having repercussions on daytime life. At the origin of these nocturnal awakenings there can be various disorders, such as an allergy, dermatitis, asthma, gastroesophageal reflux or otitis. In all these cases it is necessary to contact the pediatrician to find the most suitable solution.
How to get used to it.
To get him used to falling asleep on his own, parents should:
place him on the bed when he is relaxed and ready to sleep, but not completely asleep
do not pick him up immediately if he starts crying as soon as he is placed in the bed, but wait at least 5 minutes;
reassure the little one if, after this time, the crying does not stop, but without picking him up: for example, by talking to him softly or by showing him his favorite soft toy.
Dear mothers, after reading our article we recommend that you visit our Luxury Kids website.
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